MARS IN CANCER
“The Home Body”
The sensual life and the emotional life are totally intertwined for the Mars in Cancer Lover. This doesn’t mean that it is impossible for these Lovers to have sex without emotional commitment. It just means that it is impossible for a Lover of this type to have sex without an emotional price. Even the most casual flirtation has a way of getting sloppy and out-of-control for these Lovers. Their feelings are always on the line, no matter how much they try and deny it, and they are easily wounded. For this reason Mars in Cancer Lovers tend to be happier when they are conservative in they sex lives. Unfortunately, the intensity of their sexual feelings, both on a physical and an emotional level, often makes it difficult for them to be conservative enough.
Here sex is always linked with security. These Lovers want love to feel like home, all cozy and warm and what they seek from sex has more to do with comfort than it does passion. If these folks pursued these wholesome goals in a direct and rational way they would always find themselves in happy, rewarding relationships. Unfortunately, they don’t. In fact, for the Mars in Cancer Lover, directness and rationality are almost out of the question.
Their intense emotionality causes the Mars in Cancer Lover to veer is all sorts of contradictory directions. In some instances they can become obsessively promiscuous, vainly searching for emotional sustenance in the transitory passion of physical sex. At other times they can become unreasonably demanding, driving people away with their incessant desire for emotional reassurance. They can be disconcertedly passive and dependent in their relationship, as if they want to disappear into the union, but they can also be overly protective and passive/aggressive, hovering over their Beloved like the proverbial mother hen. Even in the best of circumstances these Lovers are susceptible to periods of self-pity and unrealistic thinking.
And yet, for all their whining and emotional volatility, there is a toughness about these Mars in Cancer Lovers that typically sees them through the most difficult of romantic situations. Perhaps the very sensitivity that makes them so vulnerable also gives them this inner resiliency. Or perhaps it’s just that their need for love is so great that it inspires within them a special kind of tenacity. In any case, these people are emotional survivors who never give up on love.
Change is an essential element in the sex lives of Mars in Cancer individuals. Love is a process for them and they get nervous when it becomes static. These Lovers never stop tinkering, even when they are lucky enough to find the emotionally secure and physically rewarding relationship they need.· They like to test their partners, rearrange the rules of their relationships and otherwise upset the emotional status quo. This restlessness conflicts sharply with the need these Lovers have for security and commitment but such rational observations are not likely to impress them. They will always follow their feelings, even when doing so takes them to the edge of disaster.
CELEBRITY EXAMPLES OF MARS IN CANCER
As promised our examples of The Home Body include people whose sex appeal can only be called phenomenal, such as Audrey Hepburn, Tom Jones and Rudolph Valentino. We also have examples who managed to be very sexy (and very promiscuous) without being at all good-looking, such as Honore de Balzac, Pablo Picasso and H. G. Wells.
Over all, though, what stands out about this group is the number of examples who displayed contradictory and utterly irrational thinking when it came to their sex lives. Sid Vicious apparently felt that the only way to express his devotion to the love of his life was to stab her to death. George Sanders and Arthur Schopenhaur denigrated women and love in public while being completely enthralled by both in private. William Randolph Hearst considered himself an upstanding family man while openly entertaining the cream of vintage Hollywood along side his mistress, Marion Davies while Ingrid Bergman deserted both her husband and her child to order to pursue her infatuation with an Italian filmmaker. Perhaps the saddest examples of this irrational behavior are the people who chose to cling to an unloving or abusive partner, people like Jean Cocteau, Halle Berry and, most tragic of all, Nicole Brown Simpson.